bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
