I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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