Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
