Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize