Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
