she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
