I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
