so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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