Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
