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I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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