do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
