Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
