some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize