i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
