The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
