I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
