Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
