I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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