Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
