Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize