Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sponge bath it is.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Randomize
