So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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