What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How does one acquire holy water?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
