when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
