My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
