We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
