I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
