I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
