i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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