they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
