we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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