We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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