I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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