I CAN MOONWALK!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
