The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
