Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
