did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
