I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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