come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
