My nipple is on Facebook.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
