There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
