also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
