Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Randomize