question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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