HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
