I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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