I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
