Dual....:-)
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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