I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That accounts for only three of the penises
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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