She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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