I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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