i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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