This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
