he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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