And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
