We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
