worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
try to milk me bitch
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
