im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
