tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
