Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
