you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
